How ya like my hat? McDonald’s hat

My hat stories could be fact, fiction or a mix of both.

I started this story in 2019 and set it aside for a while, because I had writers block. The hat photo was taken by a fellow classmate at College of Southern Maryland (CSMD) during my Communication 1010 course, on November 26, 2019. I have an assortment of McDonald hats, since my name is McDonald.

Last week I went in one of my local McDonald’s, because I had a hankering for one of their new Bacon Big Mac’s. After I ordered my meal I noticed my server was wearing a new McDonald hat. I thought of my story category called, “How ya Like my Hat?” and asked if I could speak with the manager and when she came over I pulled out my wallet and showed her my driver’s license pointing to my last name – McDonald.

She said, “Oh”.

I told her, “I collect hats, especially McDonald hats.” I then pointed to my server and asked, “Can I get one like that”.

She replied, “Because of the M?”

Of course I said, “Yes”.

“Let me see.” She turned and went to the back of the store and returned with the hat I’m wearing in this photo.

“Thank you so much.” I adjusted the band, put it on, grabbed my food and walked out the door.

I immediately felt that something was wrong in my universe, but I had food so the universe had to take a back seat. I pulled out of the parking lot and headed north toward the CSMD La Plata campus for my Thursday afternoon Communications class. I noticed a car full people behind me wearing Burger King hats, but didn’t think much of it till they got real close and followed me down Mitchel Road toward the college.

I was a little concerned with my tailgater as I moved through the shady crooked Mitchel Rd., then I saw another car full of people behind them and they were wearing hats from Wendy’s. At this point my food took a back seat to the immediate threat of the hat brigade.

Luck has a way of finding me when I need it the most and as I was pulling in the campus parking lot I saw a large crowd of people. Everyone in this crowd was wearing CSMD hats – there were hundreds of my fellow Hawks (students) coming to my rescue. Somehow the universe let my friends know I was in trouble. When the Burger King and Wendy people saw this they turned and slipped quietly off the college grounds.

Of course with my plot thickening type of mind, I thought it was all about me. However, there was pep rally happening that very moment and I was the bearer of that good luck because of it.

Amazon author page, https://amazon.com/author/jimmcdonaldjr

Jim McDonald Writes, https://facebook.com/poetryandmorewords

Website – J F McDonald, https://jfmcdonaldjr.com

How ya like my hat? Gary Clark hat

Is this story fact or fiction?

It was a nice indoor event with a lot of people hoping to meet one or all of the Redskin players that were in attendance. One former player was Sonny Jurgensen, and the two active players were Darrel Green and Gary Clark. I liked all three of these men, but I really wanted to meet Jurgensen, because I was wearing his jersey. That was a no go from the start, his line was so long but the Green and Clark lines weren’t short either. Stopping to survey the venue once I walked in, I noticed I was in Gary Clark’s line already.

I was hoping that my girlfriend Lisa would come with me, but she roots for another team, so she went to lunch with a Cowboy fan. Standing in the line for what seemed like hours, I remembered a recent conversation between us.

Weeks earlier I bought a Washington Redskin hat at a yard sale and gave it to her, but she

said, “I’m not wearing that filthy thing!”

My reply was, “It’s a gift, bought especially for you.”

“I don’t care. Get that thing away from me!”

The hat was actually bought to add to my collection of Skin hats and of course sit on my head till another hat came along. Later I noticed it was tight and barely fit me, so I thought maybe I’ll turn it into a gift for Lisa and it might turn her hatred for my team to at least respect – that didn’t happen. Realizing when I put the lie on my head it wasn’t a big lie, but a lie all the same.

However, while at the ‘Fan Fest’ I was in line hoping Gary Clark would sign the hat. He graciously did. After that I looked at the other lines and decided to leave for home. After I walked out the door I heard a commotion to the right, so I walked toward a crowd to see what was happening. Low and behold there she was, my girlfriend in the middle of a Dallas Cowboy rally. I stepped closer to the crowd unaware I was setting myself up for ridicule. I had no idea that Lisa overheard me explain the little lie to a friend and she set out to teach me a lesson. I got closer and closer to the crowd, then she pointed at me and shouted through a mega phone, “That’s him, the Redskin liar.” At that point I realized that cowboys and Indians didn’t mix and this relationship will probably never work. It reminded me of a country song where the wife gave the husband an ultimatum of fishing or her and he told the listener in the song, “I’m going to miss her.”

Amazon author page, https://amazon.com/author/jimmcdonaldjr

Jim McDonald Writes, https://facebook.com/poetryandmorewords

Website – J F McDonald, https://jfmcdonaldjr.com

How ya like my hat? Cowgirl hat

How ya like my hat?
Cowgirl hat

One of my passions is going to yard sales, thrift stores and flea markets, but years ago I moved into a smaller home, that means most of my yard sailing is for fun – not for need or want. It’s also good quality time if I’m with with a friend, family or lady friend.

Typically what you do at yard sales, is casually pick an item up and ask, how much. If it’s a dollar, I’ll probably get it otherwise I wouldn’t have picked it up in the first place. If they say five dollars I will normally put it down and move on, while not looking at them.

George and I were out all morning and haven’t found anything of value yet. Well, he did get an eight milometer nut driver to complete his set. Then, as soon as I saw it, I knew I wanted a picture of me wearing it. I could tell from a distance that it was in ratty shape and figured it would be cheap. I was inching towards the hat, when I noticed a lady at the other end of the tables doing the same. Somehow I knew she wanted it too. At first we were the same distance from the hat, so I started to move a little quicker than normal. She moved quicker though and was within yards of it, but I was closer to the lady collecting the money, so I asked, “How much for the hat?”

The proprietor said, “Two dollars.”

I said, “Sold.” And quickly handed her the money, then reached over grabbed the hat and put it on my head.

I didn’t know there was such a thing as a Cowgirl Hat, till the lady suitor told me, “You know that hat is for a girl, right?”

I said, “No way! What makes it a girls hat?”

She said, “Let me show you.” As she reached for it, while it was still on my head.

“No way!” I grabbed it by the sides, pulling it down tight and curled it up even more than it already was.

She said, “Three, four, okay five dollars, and that’s it!” She said all this, while my friend George took some pictures of me wearing the hat.

 

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From the yard sale, we went to the Charlotte Hall Veterans Home, where I had some photos hanging in an art show. She followed us and while George and I were in the hallway looking at the photos, she walked around the corner and offered me ten dollars. I realized all I really wanted was some photos of the hat for this story, so I told her, “Here it’s yours for free, if you take some pictures of me with my photos.”

She said, “Great, which ones are yours?” She took several shots of me standing next to my photography, then we started talking about them.

 

 

During that time, I told her, “I buy hats for cheap, then write stories about them.”

“What do you do with the hats after?”

“I normally give them to someone, like you. It worked out perfect, because I especially wanted these pictures with this hat.”

I gave her my card, just before she sauntered down the hallway and out the door, then she stuck her head back in and said, “I’ll take all the hats, that you don’t want. I’ll even meet you and take the photos for your stories.”

“Okay, call me.”

Well we ended up dating, married and divorced. It’s so sad, because now she doesn’t chase me anymore.

How ya like my hat? Fuzz ball hat

How ya like my hat? Fuzz ball hat

 

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I was enjoying my normal Sunday morning at the White Plains Flea Market, when I came across this fuzz ball hat. I had no desire to buy it. But I did want some pictures for my, ‘How ya like my hat?’ gig.

I asked the vendor, Reggie, “Can you take some pictures of me wearing this hat?”

He said, “Sure.”

I took my Washington Redskin hat off and posed for some pictures. Figuring six photos were enough to choose from, I said, “Thank you.” as I sat the hat back in it’s place.”

“You can have it for a buck.”

I, “Stuttered” for a moment.

Then he said, “Just take it, it’s yours.”

While, putting the hat back on my head, I said, “Thank you.” then headed further into the market.

A friend of mine was staring at my funny hat, while saying, “That hat’s much better, than the one in your hand.” Anyone could tell he’s a Dallas Cowboy fan, by the hat he was wearing.

I sent him a sideways grin while saying, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ll give you a dollar for your hat.”

“You have two already. What do you want with mine?”

“I have to use the rest room and there is no toilet paper.”

“Get out of here you fool.” So we hugged and went our separate ways.

Later at the La Plata, Starbucks, my barista kept staring at my fuzz ball hat. “Nice hat.”

“You want it?”

“How much?”

“Nothing, take it, it’s yours.”

 

Fact or fiction? What are your thoughts?

 

How ya like my hat? Lincoln hat

How ya like my hat? Lincoln hat

 

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It was just last week that I got a terrible sunburn on my head. It was so bad, that it blinded me whenever I looked in the mirror.

I normally always wear a hat, but during my move to Virginia, I lost several boxes off my truck. One box had my socks and underwear, another one had shoes and pants, a third had most of my t-shirts and the last one had all of my hats.

I took a break from unpacking after I noticed the boxes missing, and went to the local Wal-Mart in my flip flops and same clothes I moved down with. I bought: underwear, socks, t-shirts and pants. However, I was not going to spend ten dollars for a hat, that I wasn’t interested in.

It was a hot, windy Saturday, and not good for outdoor shopping without a hat, I went anyway.

There were plenty of yard sales in this sleepy little town, but I didn’t find the flea market until hours later. Finally coming across a table with a large assortment of hats, I must of spent twenty minutes trying on one after another. Finding a few Washington Redskin hats, for a buck apiece was a prize in itself. Putting those aside, I kept searching for fun. While trying on an Abraham Lincoln hat, a big gust of wind blew it off my head. Before I could react a dog caught it and quickly ran off. I didn’t want it anyway, because it was too small and it cost ten dollars.

The lady said, “That will be ten dollars please.”

I said, “That wasn’t my fault.”

“You tried almost every hat and got your head sweat on everyone of them.”

Not knowing what to do, I said, “Okay” and gave her twelve dollars for the Lincoln and two Redskin’s hats.

Later that evening, as I was rubbing Aloe Vera on my sun burned head, there was a knock on my front door. It was the hat lady and she was carrying a fruit basket. As she handed me the fruit, she said, “I have something else for you.”

While taking the fruit basket, I said, “WOW! Wasn’t expecting this.”

At that time she turned to her truck and, “Whistled.” Out of the truck bed jumped a dog, sprinting to her side. She said, “Want you to meet Darby. I think he likes you.” Darby sat by her side with a bag, that hung from his bottom jaw. I realized Darby was the same dog that grabbed the Lincoln hat and ran off. “Think he was playing with you earlier, not sure though.” She took the bag from Darby, then handed it and ten dollars to me and said, “Welcome to the neighborhood.”

 

Just messing, bought it for a buck