True stories

Your three words, my little story: Nora’s words (true story)

/ Jim McDonald / 5 Comments

Your three words, my little story
Nora’s words: opsimath, hypermnesia & malapropism (true story)

 

Four good friends wanted to quit smoking, so they decided to try hypnosis. Jim and Raymond haven’t smoked since, but Bruce and Christina smoked before they got to their cars.

 

When Jim quit, he gained interest in other areas. He became an OPSIMATH person. However, he wouldn’t have known what that meant, except when he got hypnotized he got HYPERMNESIA. Hypermnesia is the opposite of amnesia, which means he remembers things he normally wouldn’t.

 

He majored in English and learned enough to get by but, he still had problems with MALAPROPISM. Sometimes he used a word, that sounded correct for the sentence, but wasn’t close. He needs to learn a lot more but, as of yet, he hasn’t given up.

How ya like my hat? O’s helmet (true story)

/ Jim McDonald / Leave a comment

How ya like my hat?
O’s helmet (true story)

 

I went to several yard sales today, hunting for a stylo pen for my LG phone. Never found the pen, but I did come across this jewel. She wanted fifteen dollars for it, so I knew I wasn’t going to buy it. It also looked too small for my big head.

 

While walking away, I realized I needed a picture of it. Knowing, it wouldn’t fit I put it on anyway. I asked her, “Can you take less?”

 

“Make me an offer.”

 

“A dollar.”

 

She looked at me and laughed. At the same time, I was hunting for a teenager to take a picture of me wearing it. I was surrounded by people my age or older, so I asked the guy at the next table. He asked me, “Is that one of them smart phones?”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

He looked at me and laughed. “Sorry buddy, can’t help you.”

 

Now, two of them were laughing and the lady said, “A picture will make it twenty.”

 

I knew I had to find a make shift photographer in the crowd. Finally this guy said, “If all I have to do is push a button.”

 

“Yeah. Here it is, right here.” I said, as I was pointing at the button. He took a couple, I shook his hand and off he went. By this time anyone around me was either grinning or laughing.

 

I walked back to the table and sat the helmet back down, when the lady repeated, “With the picture it should cost you twenty.”

 

I told her, “Since it’s fifteen dollars, I have to ask my wife. I’ll send her this picture and and let you know.”

 

“You have to ask you wife?”

 

“Oh yeah. I learned my lesson.” Then I walked away.

 

True story, except I’m not married anymore. I did tell her that though, as an excuse to leave.

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Random thoughts: passing time (true story)

/ Jim McDonald / 4 Comments

Random thoughts: passing time (true story)

 

I was heading to Starbucks the other day, when I noticed something, that set my mind wandering. What I saw happens all the time now. It was a man in his front yard on his cell phone.

 

It was a large well kept front yard of green, green grass. Two acres or so and he was sitting in the middle of it, about fifty or sixty feet away from any shade. It was a bright, hot sunny day and he was on his John Deer lawn mower, with a wide brim melanoma hat on his head.

 

In days past, if you were expecting an important phone call, nothing got done to far away from the land line. It was quite possible nothing got done anyway, or at least not until after that phone rang.

 

I imagined the man set his phone on vibrate, because there is no way he could hear a phone ring over the noisy grass cutter. Maybe because he was expecting an important phone call.

 

It was during the week in the middle of the day, so my thoughts drifted that the guy was retired and this was one of his weekly chores. If so he was probably in no hurry to complete the task at hand, because nothing special was scheduled next. So, if he gets a phone call he can stop, turn the mower off and relax in his seat and talk.

 

It is said we live in the microwave age, we want what we want, now. We can’t finish our chores without being interrupted by another issue, problem or a simple conversation.

 

Before the nineties, if I was cutting the grass, plowing the field or working on the shed. I didn’t have a phone on my side, in my pocket or a bottle of water handy. I finished my job and went on to the next.

 

I felt the man was at a stage in his life, where he was not in a hurry to do anything and there is nothing wrong with that. He had all the time in the world.

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Random thoughts: stuck in there (true story)

/ Jim McDonald / 2 Comments

Random thoughts: stuck in there (true story)

 

I was waiting for my appointment, when an older man walked in and sat down two chairs to my right. Close behind him was a lady, that sat between us. I gave them both the head nod to imply hello, before they sat down. She returned it, while he did not

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The man did most of the talking, however he didn’t talk in structured sentences or a conversation. He would make statements and he would always start these statements with her first name. As far as l knew, all of his statements were random facts. He would rattle off two or so in a row. Then breath and she would say something like, “that’s nice John.” Then he would tell her a couple more.

 

Every now and again I said, “Wow, I didn’t know that.” Or “That’s cool.”

 

After saying that a couple of times he asked, “Who are YOU sir?”

 

I stood up and put my hand out, “Jim McDonald.”

 

He promptly stood up and shook my hand, “John David.”

 

We sat down and he told me some jokes. I believe he told me five jokes, every time saying Jim before each joke. Then he told me five more, before he said, “Jim, tell me a joke.”

 

I told him, “I’m no good at that, I can’t remember them.” He shrugged. I then said, “I remember one. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?” I waited a few seconds for his answer or for him to say ‘what’. He didn’t say a word, so I said, “ A stick.” That’s an old joke, but he must of laughed for ten seconds, then abruptly stopped.

 

I realized that he was a very smart man. His problem though, he can not interact in a back and forth conversation. Everything he said was a statement, no answers. I think he has all these memories stuck in his head and he can’t talk about them. All he can do is repeat them, probably over and over again.

 

I wonder if he is aware of this and the only way he can express his thoughts are by a fact close to what he wants to say. Or does he just randomly state facts. If he realizes his situation, then he’s stuck in there with all his thoughts and can’t share them with the world.

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La Plata, MD

Random thoughts: protecting our water ways (true story)

/ Jim McDonald / Leave a comment

Random thoughts: protecting our water ways (true story)

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Charles County Sheriff’s Department

I apologize up front for the poor quality of this photo. I have a thirteen mega pixel camera on my phone, which normally takes very good pictures. I believe the bright sky and sun reflecting off the water was the problem.
When I noticed this boat coming through the marina I knew I had to write about it. I didn’t know what, but I knew I was going too.
As I was taking the first couple of pictures the driver stopped and put it in reverse, so we could talk. I told them I was going to blog about this. The cop on the left asked me, “What is the name of your blog?”
I told him, “From my Head to Yours.” He then pulled his phone out and I thought, this is too cool. He’s looking up my brand new blog right here, on the spot. “Type in jfmcdonaldjr.com and that should take you right to it.” I started taking more pictures, to make sure I got at least one good one. Lot of good that did.
We Americans will walk up to complete stranger and thank them for their service, if they are dressed in some kind of military uniform. I go out of my way to do that, all the time. And I tell them as I’m shaking their hands, “Thank you for protecting me, my freedom and my way of life.” Then I leave them to their life, but I make sure they know, I appreciate them, personally.
For the past two years, I have done the same with police officers. I tell them, “Thank you for protecting me, right here where I live at and please be careful out there.” There is no way I could do there job or would I want to try.
It embarrasses me as an American, living in the best country in the world, for the way our men and women in blue are treated. I want them to know I got their back. They deserve every bit of respect we can muster. When I saw these three men in green, on this very powerful machine I rushed to get this picture and to thank them for their service.
When, I use to drink and drug, I tried not cross their paths. However, I often did and sometimes I would get arrested. I never once held any ill will toward them, because I was always the one in the wrong.
As I was walking away, I realized that I was wearing my trusty ole Skin hat. I then turned back to them, raised my hands in the air and yelled, “Hail to the Redskins!” Then left.