Random thoughts: Depression (true story)

Random thoughts: Depression (true story)

 

Four years ago I fell into a vast crevice of depression. The reasons why, are not important to this little story. Although they are important to me.

 

I always had these rainy day blues, but didn’t know it was depression, until a couple of years ago. There would be two or three days, where I would completely shut down and do nothing. Typically, only people who are depressed or have battled this affliction can understand with any degree of compassion how it feels.

 

I had a plan. I was going to the corner of the woods sit down and pull the trigger. I didn’t, because of my sons and my sister.

 

My brother committed suicide in 1985, so if I did the same, it would have devastated my sister. She saved my life and doesn’t even know it.

 

It’s not a physical pain. It’s not like a head ache or back ache. There was not one particular reason, I just didn’t want to BE anymore and I wanted the pain to stop.

 

I lived on a farm with no one around, but still peaked out the window. If someone knocked on the door it scared me to the point I would hide. I did not want to answer the phone, door or window.

 

It has taken a lot of work with one therapist and she has become very important to me.

 

Depression is not to be taken lightly.

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9 thoughts on “Random thoughts: Depression (true story)

  1. I can relate…my brother is going through same phase! Glad you are out of it now! Best way to fight depression is keep yourself busy! Try to get interested in new hobbies! Read motivational books and last but not least help others! Have a great life ahead! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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