How ya like my hat?

How ya like my hat? Wizards

/ Jim McDonald / 3 Comments

How ya like my hat? Wizards

 

I was enjoying my lunch at the local diner when three tall men came over to my table. One pulled out the chair across from me and sat down, while the others stood towering over me, one on either side. I looked over at Betty hoping for some help, but she turned and walked out the door leaving me to fend for myself.

 

The one that sat down asked, “Do you know who I am?”

 

“I’m not sure, but you look like Dwayne Wade of the Miami Heat.”

 

“You’re right, then you know me and my friends don’t like your hat!”

 

“Wwwwhat’s wrong with my hat?”

 

“We’re not Wizards fans!”

 

About that time the bell rings above the front door. It’s was Betty coming back and it looked like she brought the whole town with her. She said, “WOW! Dwayne Wade! Can I get your autograph?”

 

While the town distracted the basketball players, I hid behind the counter. After Betty got their autographs she came over and said, “I couldn’t let you have all the fun, so I brought reinforcements. What were y’all talking about anyway?”

 

“They didn’t like my hat.”

 

Then Wade came over and said, “I’m on my way to visit my sister and her daughter. I don’t like it, but my niece is a Wizards fan and I forgot to get her a gift. When I saw your hat I thought my friends and I could talk you out of it.”

 

“We might be able to work something out. How about you pay for my lunch, give Betty a picture of you guys for her wall and tell your niece, “Happy Birthday!”, then I’ll give you the hat.”

 

“Deal!” After everything calmed down, I went back to my table and there were three one hundred dollar bills laying there.

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2014

 

Just messin, paid a buck for it at a yard sale.

How ya like my hat? Cone hat (true story)

/ Jim McDonald / 4 Comments

How ya like my hat? Cone hat (true story)

 

 

Raymond and I were rambling around on a wooded back road in North Carolina a couple of years ago with no particular destination. We came across a little thrift shore on the left in the middle of nowhere. Since we love these types of stores we turned around at the nearest driveway to go back to it.

 

When we pulled into the gravel parking lot, we laughed when we noticed a sign that said, “Treasures in the Middle of Nowhere”. As we walked up the steps and through the French Doors,  an elderly lady said, “How y’all doing?”

 

I said, “Fair to middlin’, I reckon.”

 

Raymond said with a chuckle, “No he’s not! He’s never fair.”

 

This was the only hat in the cute little shop; however, she wanted way too much for it. I tried it on and Raymond took a picture of me wearing the hat. The lady asked me, “Why are you wearing a flower pot?”

 

“What?”

 

“That’s a flower pot on your head. The plastic insert is on the middle shelf behind you.”

 

“I had no idea.” replying with a smile.”

 

Raymond said, “Thought you knew it was flower pot and you were just playing.”

 

“No! Well, don’t tell anyone. People might think I’m stupid.”

 

Raymond looked at me and smiled, “Your friends already know that.”

 

True story, but I did not buy the flower pot.

How ya like my hat? Skins black hat

/ Jim McDonald / 4 Comments

How ya like my hat? Skins black hat

 

I was at FedEx Field, when I was accosted by some Eagle fans. They grabbed my hat and started playing keep away with it. I’m too fat to run back and forth, so I kicked one of them between the legs.

 

There were three more of them and they had me down in minutes. Out of no where came jolly ole Nick to the rescue. He was joined by a small army of Santa Clauses and I heard rumblings from the red and white bearded gang saying, “Snow balls! ’68! I’ll get you this time!”

 

The Santa’s surrounded the four Eagle fans and helped me up. The one in charge said, “We’ve been waiting, since 1968 to get back at you. My dad was hit by a snow ball in the back of the head that day and died years later from a traumatic brain injury. That’s why you’ve gotten nothing but black ice in your stockings since then.”

 

Now give this man back his hat and prepare for an early Christmas present. Even God won’t save you from this beat down. You have been on God’s naughty list for a long time, so here comes your coal.

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Taken at FedEx Field on November 11, 2012

 

Just messin, bought it brand new years ago.

How ya like my hat? Tall hat

/ Jim McDonald / 9 Comments

How ya like my hat? Tall hat

 

I was heading into a meeting with a bunch of my friends, when one of them pulled me off to the side. He told me, “I’ll give you a dollar, if you wear this hat during the whole meeting and lunch afterward.”

 

I said, “No, but I’ll do it for six dollars.”

 

“Why six?”

 

“That way I’ll have money for lunch.”

 

He said, “Okay.”, thinking he got me to do something, that I normally wouldn’t do.

 

After lunch my friend Wally asked me, “Where did you get money for lunch?” I told him the deal I made and he said, “That’s a pretty good deal for you.”

 

“Yeah it is.” Wally knows I would have bought the hat for my, ‘How ya like my hat?’ gig. This way I got the picture, story and lunch for free.

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Picture was probably taken in 2014.

Just messin, paid a dollar for it at a yard sale.

How ya like my hat? Stupid hat (true story)

/ Jim McDonald / 8 Comments

How ya like my hat? Stupid hat (true story)

 

I was in line at WAWA yesterday, when I noticed a very attractive lady in line a head of me. I studied her outfit for a second or two, which looked like an exercise outfit. I then told her, “I’ll let you pay for my gas, if you let me take a picture of you.”

 

She returned my comment with a hardy laugh and a resounding, “NO!” then laughed some more.

 

I am, so glad when people get my, sometimes stupid humor and it feels so good to hear them laugh. I replied, “Ok. I’ll pay for my gas and take a picture of you.”

 

“Ok, but you have to let me take a picture of you wearing this hat.”

 

Of course I said, “Deal!” thinking solely of my ‘How ya like my hat?’ gig.

 

Here is the picture she took.

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Just messin, bought it at a yard sale for a buck.