The hole in the wall
By Jim McDonald (true story)
the hole in the wall
controls my all
an anxious captive
peeking out
screen or glass
buffers the fright
how do I leave
how do I stay
the hole in the wall
controls my all
breathing is rapid
breathing is brutal
afraid to leave
afraid to stay
the hole in the wall
controls my all
afraid to live
afraid to die
the hole in the wall
controls my all
2011
JFM Creates 
Sorry, I started writing my latest piece and posted it. Yeah, I think I will change the one word. I’ll have look at the other.
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It’s your work so it’s never too late to change it, so long as that best fulfills your vision (which may also evolve). I’m reminded of Whitman’s Leaves of Grass, which he edited almost continuously over the course of his life!
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No, to the punctuation and there is no particular reason why.
I went through a bout with depression and I lived my life through one window. Sometimes wishing I was out there, instead of inside on my chair watching the TV and the happenings through the window.
I was thinking of changing the ‘hole’ to ‘whole’ in the name. I would have to thing about an analogy. Do you think it’s too late to change it?
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The hole in the wall, is that your little slice of life? Is that your little vantage point?
I like the general tone but am wondering: why you are taking me where you are? There’s a palpable sense of constriction that you do well to point out, but that constriction could probably do with some elaboration (a metaphor other than being in the hole? an analogy?). If it is causing that kind of suffering, I want to know more! 😉
Do you ever utilize punctuation in your poetry?
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