How ya like my hat? Home Depot hat

I’m sure you can’t make out what’s written on this hat; so I’ll tell you, it’s a “Home Depot” hat. I paid a dollar for it in Waldorf, MD., but haven’t worn it till we were in Murphy, NC.

 

I wore my “Home Depot” hat; while shopping for thumb tacks, roofing nails and water filters in “Lowes”. We walked right past the thumb tacks on aisle three heading to the fasteners on aisle five. After we picked up the roofing nails, I stopped a Lowe’s employee and said, “Thumb tacks?”

 

He thought for a second then told his boss, Mike, “He’s looking for thumb tacks.”

 

Mike said, “They’re right over here sir, on aisle three.”

 

I asked Mike, “Why didn’t I see them when I walked in?”

 

He replied, “You might be blinded by that hat you’re wearing.” We laughed and I was happy that he noticed my hat.

 

As we were hunting for the filters, I mentioned to another employee, “You know my aunt Betty died a couple months ago.” She looked a little befuddled, then I said, “Sometimes you would sit next to her in church.”

 

She said, “Is she the one that…”

 

I cut her off and told her, “I’m messin’ with you. I just wanted to flirt a little.” She smiled as I walked away.

 

I didn’t get as much fun out of this hat as thought I would, but I got enough to write this little story.

How ya like my hat? Hog hat

Sometimes I ask people questions that I already know the answers to. If they tell me a lie or act like they know something they don’t, then I can place them in the category they belong.

 

Dad taught me, “You can ask a person who they are and learn what they tell you. Or you can watch a person and see who they are.” I didn’t understand what that meant then; but decades later I realized my dad was wiser than I gave him credit for.

 

I’m a Washington Redskin fan and have been for a long time. I wear my Skin’s Jersey during every game; and, if we win I may not wear it the next day, but if we lose, I always wear it the next day.

I was at a bar on a Monday evening after a Redskin’s loss, so of course I was wearing my jersey. There was a Cowboy fan there and after following my dad’s advice, I knew what category this guy belonged in, the know it all category.

 

He told me, “If you wear this hat for an hour, I will buy you a beer and give you ten dollars.”

 

Not being one to pass up a picture of any head gear for my hat gig, I said, “Sure.” He ended up drunk and forgot about the hat so I gratefully took it home and the ten dollars.

Just messin: My grandson, Blake, gave me this hat for Christmas a couple years ago. It’s too hot to wear in the summer, but I do wear it in the winter. I’m sure him and his mom, Maria, bought it as a joke gift, but I cherish it.

 

Note: paragraphs one, two, three and seven are true, but paragraph four, five and six are not.

 

How ya like my hat? Camouflage hat (true story)

 

 

I can’t remember where or when I got this hat, but I’m sure I didn’t pay much for it. Raymond took this picture, while I was kneeling behind my mom and dad’s tombstone at Arlington National Cemetery.

 

In 2013, Raymond and I were down in North Carolina eating breakfast, when he asked our waitress, “Anything fun to do around here?”

 

She said, “No, you’re in North Carolina! Oh, there is a Rodeo tonight.” Then she gave us the information we needed to get there.

Raymond asked, “Are you going?”

 

“Maybe, I’m not sure yet.”

 

“Hope to see you there.”

 

We went to the rodeo, because neither one of us had ever been to one. I was wearing the hat in the above picture and one of the entertainers was wearing a huge red cowboy hat. I mean it was huge. The red hat guy said, “I want everyone to applaud when I call out the state you’re from.” He yelled out, “North Carolina.” Most of the spectators applauded, hooted and hollered. He said, “Georgia,” Some of the crowd clapped. “How about Tennessee?” A few Tennessean’s were there. Then he asked, “Did I miss anyone?”

I raised my hand and yelled, “Yes, me!”

 

He asked, “Where you from?”

 

“Maryland!” Raymond knows me very well, so he moved a couple spaces away from me to my right.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“I’m talking to a guy with big ugly red hat!”

 

He said, “You have no room to talk with that hat. Where did you get it?”

 

By this time Raymond was on the other side of the bench when I said, “I got it at Wal-Mart, next to a big red hat.”

 

I guess his time was up, because he waved at me and finished his segment. Our waitress was sitting in our section, in the front row. We were at the top, when she stood up and waved at us. I thought, that was cool.