Random thoughts: The doctor’s office (true story)

/ Jim McDonald / 3 Comments

Random thoughts: The doctor’s office (true story)

 

It’s hard to find a smile at the doctor office. Everyone there has something bad going on or they wouldn’t be there. Any medical exam can be a source of fear. Questions of uncertainty is on every face; fear of more tests, fear of the loss of body parts or fear about his or hers mortality. These situations are a sense of concern for everyone involved: the patient’s driver if there is one, the doctor and of course the patient.

 

At the age of sixty two, I’m often at the doctors’ office for my own tests. I have noticed even the receptionist doesn’t smile unless I pull one out of her by saying something funny. Patients come and go as I sit and watch their fear routinely get worse. If I can say something funny or stupid and it takes the frown off their face for a moment, then my task is done. However, it’s not really a task at all; it’s a desire.

 

This morning I took my friend, Matt, to his doctor’s appointment and I saw many frowns. The biggest one was on his face. He was there to see his heart doctor because of a scare he had Sunday. I was at his home Sunday, when he had what I thought was a stroke I called 911 and he was taken to the local hospital. The Emergency Room doctors eliminated several possibilities; but could not determine what had happened to him. Hence the doctor’s appointment this morning.

 

Doctors can’t be pleased giving bad news to their patients, when they have too, but they must have some way of dealing with it. Maybe it’s the money

 

As I was waiting for Matt to return, a woman came out with a really big smile on her face. I said, “You must have gotten some good news.”

 

She nodded her head and said, “Yes!”

 

“That’s good! Congratulations!”

 

Matt came out and said, “He thinks I had a small stroke. I have had several in the past and he believes this was one, too.”

 

“So what now?

 

“Another test next week.”

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Arlinton National Cemetary

How ya like my hat? Cone hat (true story)

/ Jim McDonald / 4 Comments

How ya like my hat? Cone hat (true story)

 

 

Raymond and I were rambling around on a wooded back road in North Carolina a couple of years ago with no particular destination. We came across a little thrift shore on the left in the middle of nowhere. Since we love these types of stores we turned around at the nearest driveway to go back to it.

 

When we pulled into the gravel parking lot, we laughed when we noticed a sign that said, “Treasures in the Middle of Nowhere”. As we walked up the steps and through the French Doors,  an elderly lady said, “How y’all doing?”

 

I said, “Fair to middlin’, I reckon.”

 

Raymond said with a chuckle, “No he’s not! He’s never fair.”

 

This was the only hat in the cute little shop; however, she wanted way too much for it. I tried it on and Raymond took a picture of me wearing the hat. The lady asked me, “Why are you wearing a flower pot?”

 

“What?”

 

“That’s a flower pot on your head. The plastic insert is on the middle shelf behind you.”

 

“I had no idea.” replying with a smile.”

 

Raymond said, “Thought you knew it was flower pot and you were just playing.”

 

“No! Well, don’t tell anyone. People might think I’m stupid.”

 

Raymond looked at me and smiled, “Your friends already know that.”

 

True story, but I did not buy the flower pot.

How ya like my hat? Skins black hat

/ Jim McDonald / 4 Comments

How ya like my hat? Skins black hat

 

I was at FedEx Field, when I was accosted by some Eagle fans. They grabbed my hat and started playing keep away with it. I’m too fat to run back and forth, so I kicked one of them between the legs.

 

There were three more of them and they had me down in minutes. Out of no where came jolly ole Nick to the rescue. He was joined by a small army of Santa Clauses and I heard rumblings from the red and white bearded gang saying, “Snow balls! ’68! I’ll get you this time!”

 

The Santa’s surrounded the four Eagle fans and helped me up. The one in charge said, “We’ve been waiting, since 1968 to get back at you. My dad was hit by a snow ball in the back of the head that day and died years later from a traumatic brain injury. That’s why you’ve gotten nothing but black ice in your stockings since then.”

 

Now give this man back his hat and prepare for an early Christmas present. Even God won’t save you from this beat down. You have been on God’s naughty list for a long time, so here comes your coal.

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Taken at FedEx Field on November 11, 2012

 

Just messin, bought it brand new years ago.

Past, Present & Plans 9-11-16

/ Jim McDonald / 1 Comment

Past, Present & Plans 9-11-16

 

Past

 

The other day I told you guys we moved to Hughesville and didn’t have running water. We had a sink, commode and bath tub, but to use any of those we had to carry water upstairs. We used an outhouse for the better part of a year. I knew about outhouses from visiting grandmother in Mountain City, Tennessee every summer as a kid. My brother, George, did also, I’m not sure about my sister, Debbie, because she was only five.

 

I have no idea why some of us were standing in ear shot of the outhouse, when Aunt Louise came out of it, but she said, “Wow, that room smells like shit!” as she walked off towards the house. I thought, “Of course it does.” A couple of my cousins laughed and I was so confused, I didn’t realize it was a joke.

 

Present

 

Today I was at my friend, Matt’s, house, when he had something similar to a stroke. I called 911 and yelled upstairs to his wife, “T, come here; there’s something wrong with Matt!”

 

She came down and said, “It might be vertigo, he takes medicine for that.”

 

At the Emergency Room, I noticed a little white scab on Matt’s lower left leg. I told him, “Has anyone ever told you about the Discoloration Syndrome?” I asked this in front of T and the Doctor.

 

He said, “No.”

 

I was pointing at a white spot on his black leg and said, “At the age of eighty five some black men start losing their color and turn white. I see it’s already started on you.” Everyone laughed and then I told him, “Love ya man! Call me if they keep you over night.” The doctor already told me they were going to run more tests and send him home, so I left.

 

T called me later when he was home and said, “He had several small strokes in the past, but this wasn’t one. They don’t know what it was yet. He has to go to his doctor for more test.”

 

The joke about his leg was supposed to make him feel at ease and me too. I was sitting four feet in front him, when the vertigo happened. It really scared me, because I thought my friend was dying and there was nothing I could do.

 

Plans

 

I talked to a new friend today about scripture and I’m thinking about volunteering at the local Detention Center again. It’s been fifteen years, since I carried the Gospel message to the inmates.

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Two poles, two friends

Your three words, my little story: Joyce’s words

/ Jim McDonald / Leave a comment

Your three words, my little story
Joyce’s words: magnolia, well & conure

 

Joyce has many hobbies, but her favorite is horticulture. She lives in a one room shack just north of the Bayou. She’s not Cajun, but her food and most of her plant life are.

 

People come from all over to see her grand MAGNOLIA Tree. It stands thirty five feet tall and just about as wide and is placed perfectly in the middle of her front yard. It’s the only thing in her front yard except for the grass, perfumed air and her mail box planted next to the gravel road.

 

Her favorite place is several hundred feet into her back yard. She loves strolling past her WELL house and down one of her many rambling paths filled with flora, while picking weeds here and there.

 

There aren’t a lot of Pear trees near the Bayou, but Joyce has one that attracts all kinds of birds to its to foliage. Her favorite bird is the cinnamon green-cheeked CONURE. Between the pears and the strawberry patch she has many parrots in her fragrant landscape.

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North Carolina